Hi All Emily here!
This was sent to me, and just because I'm a slut doesn't mean I don't get sentimental over the HOlidays...
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but a relationship is clairvoyant.
Although relationships (meaningful and spiritual ones at that) have always been my main interest, it wasn't until the last few months that i learned some important lessons on the subject ..... things like:
1. The purpose of all relationships is getting to know OURSELVES better so that we can become the best human being we can be. (Instead of trying to change the person we are involved with).
2. We don't need to keep looking for "love" all our lives.... we just need to discover and work on our barriers to receiving it.
3. Relationships are not about what we can get from our partner. They are about us and who we are willing to be and give as a partner ..... without any demands or expectations, otherwise what we do would only be a way of manipulating and controling others.
4. People don't deliberately start out with the intent of creating break ups and grief. I think it's more our unwillingness to resolve our own issues that end up causing just that.
5. Most of us want the people we have relationships with to think as we do, act as we do, love as we love, give what we give,and we feel hurt when they don't.... but the truth is, we are all different persons who have had different events in our past shape the way we react to life ...... undestanding this, in my opinion should prevent us from taking anyone's reactions "too personal".
6. When we are able to realize that our love is precious and we can give it unconditionally, without DEMANDS OR EXPECTATIONS, we can't be dissapointed by anyone's response to it.
7. We need to realize, accept and sometimes even "forgive" the people we are involved with for not being our "fantasy"........because the truth is, no one will ever be.
8. The way i see it, a "Soulmate" is not someone or something mystical we need to find in our lifetime ........but instead, someone we are willing to do SOUL-DEEP WORK with.
9. There's nothing wrong with the differences between us and the person we are involved with.... in the end, i think they are exactly what we need..... in order to push our souls forward.
10. The coolest gift you can give someone is a safe space in which to become who they are.
11. Judgements are senseless. We are all learning the same lesson in different ways and at different times.
Hope you enjoyed that and enjoy your HOliday.
I'll be back in Jan 2010, see you then.
Em ;)
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(now with embedded video!)
Hello Emily,
You keep saying what a slut you are. numbers Emily, we want numbers!
Hehe, well can't tell you the absolute number, and I don't really keep track (wonder if there is an iPhone app for that?) but this year it would have to be around 60 or so different hook ups. But don't judge me too harsh, the year isn't over yet...
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(now with embedded video!)
do you enjoy bbc and does hubby watch
We should take this time to settle a few things. Mojo is not my hubby. Mater of fact I'm single. Not for any specific reason, it's just the right person has never come into my life I suppose. If and when the right person comes into my life I guarentee you I'll let them know, and if they feel the same way, then it's game on. In the mean time I'm more than happy being a slut. Males, females, top, bottom, Dom, sub, whatever it's all good to me. As far as your question about BBC, let me say this. I've never had "bad" black cock. LOL...
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How you doin' Emily,
I have a few questions for you regarding my relationship and the sexual aspect of it. First off let me give you a few details... I'm 24 and I'm white and she's 21 and she's black. We've been dating around 6 months. I'm the first white guy she's ever been with and sometimes it makes me question if I fully satisfy her. She's slept with 11 other guys before me and they all have been black. She said the biggest one was around 8 - 8 1/2 inches and pretty thick. Me myself, I'm barely 6 inches and right below 5 in girth. She tells me I'm the best she's been with though and I always make her cum at least once. I feel a little insecure about my dick for the fact she's had pretty big before and that they were all black but that's not the main issue why I don't believe her... There are times we've had sex and she feels loose and then other times we've had sex where she's felt tight. She told me that's normal but is it possible to be a big difference like tight to get in in one day and a week or two later it just slides right in liek nothing?? There are times I don't know if I please her because sometimes I don't physically feel like I "fill her up". Sometimes I can't feel my dick hitting her walls but she says the sex is great and she feels it. I'm a little hesitant to believing everything she says because she's lied to me about a couple things in the past. Another thing is that around the time we met (9-10 months ago) she asked me twice, in so many words, if i had a big dick. She does have some good friends but more of her friends are sluts and she's even said that they prefer a big dick. Another odd thing is that she's admitted to having a slutty past and admitted there were times she could look at a guy and think to herself that she would fuck him but what's weird to me is she says she never has fantasized about any guy while using a vibrator ever in her life?? She says when pleases herself she just thinks how good it feels to her or she thinks about me. Is that possible because I don't believe she can just think about "how good it feels" lol. I wonder sometimes about her too because at times she can have a wandering eye while she's with me in public but yet every time I thought I knew she was checking someone out she got very defensive and denied it. We've known each other almost a year but only have been exclusive about 6 months. I love her and she loves me but sometimes I wonder if she really wants a man with a bigger penis because the fact that I don't feel like I physically "fill her up" and sometimes she feels loose. She tells me she wants to have my kids and marry me someday and I don't want to get that serious with a woman that will cheat on me just for the thrill of a big dick every now and then you know what i mean? One more thing.. if she's rolling her eyes in the back of her head sometimes when we do it do you think she's faking an orgasm or do you think I really am satisfying her 100% and just handling my business in bed? And please don't sugar coat it because I want your complete honest answers and opinion. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon...
-Mike
I've already answered a question almost exactly like this recently, so read through them and there is your answer. You seems to think becuase she is black that means she is getting Big Black Cock. I can assure you that white girls her age are getting it also! LOL
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This is my wife Roxanne. She says I don't please her sexually anymore. WHY ? She says I am reluctant to eat her out, and when I Fuck her I don't fuck her hard enough or treat her rough enough. She also says that I am reluctant to Fuck her in risky places where we might be seen & caught. She wants to be able to piss on me and have me drink her piss. She is really pissed off at me. She says that either she wants a divorce or she wants me to watch a guy come over and really be rough with her while I watch. She also wants guys to be able to fuck her outside ( again while I watch ) She says that I am not a real man because I wont treat her like a dirty street whore. She is really very intelligent & sweet. But when she wants sex she wants to be brutally fucked, and seen. The more the guy degrades her the better she says.
So she thinks that by me watching as a guy does this that it will help me learn how to treat her.
She says that after she demonstrates how she wants to be treated, she will punish me.
Let me know what you think her ideas
I think Roxanne has been reading too much Internet porn... LOL. But seriously she clearly has both a submissive side and exhibitionist side to her. Then she says she wants to piss on you. It sounds to me that she is very confused about her sexuality, and is repressing a lot of anger and rage. You're in a sticky situation my friend. I would recommend finding some local BDSM groups in your area. Not the bullshit dress up and go to a goth club posers, but real people living the lifestyle. Also there is a book, "A Different Loving" that might be helpful. This is a very serious situation for you both. Do not take it lightly. Good Luck!
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Hi, I hope that you don't mind me emailing you. I'm a 34 y/o m/w/m. My wife is 29. We've been married for 9 years now. About 5 years ago I talked my wife into starting a relationship with a black man that she worked with. She was completely against it in the beginning. It was not like her to do something like that at all but I eventually convinced her. She had two sexual experiences with him while I watched through a window. She also fooled around with him at work on several occasions. The problem with the situation was that she became attached to him and like you said in her own words "addicted" to him. I got jealous and it came extremely close to costing us our marriage. It took everything in her power to stop seeing him, along with him moving to a different job eventually. When I told her that I didn't want her to be with him anymore she was furious. She told me to never ask her to do anything like that again and from now on we would have a "conventional" marriage. After five years we are finally at the point where we will talk about the experience, at least when we are drinking. We have also been talking about her being attracted to black men when we are fooling around. The other day I bought her a black dildo. I thought she would be mad but she watched ir porn with him in it and we had a good time.. My whole point is that for like a year now I have been obsessed with her being with a black man again but have never said anything about it because she has changed so much since our last experience with it, and she was so mad about it the first time. I worry that if I tell her she will get all pissed off and it will have negative effects on our marriage. Is this a bad idea? Or is it possible that she has thought about it and it is possible that she would want this also? I would really like some advice on how to approach getting her to embark in this lifestyle. I have given it plenty of thought and I know that I can handle it and that we could both enjoy it very much.
Jeez... First off you have to realize you did everything wrong the first time. Let's first analyze what you did wrong. You want the voyeuristic thrill of watching her with someone else. . but, you ENCOURAGED her to have a relationship with him. Jesus H. Christ on a pop sickle stick what were you thinking? Of course she is going to get attached and of course she is going to get pissed off when you say stop it. Feelings run deep. And of course she is going to say don't ever ask me to do that again. She was what, 24? And I'm going to guess he was older. Seriously, whether or not you realize it, you have emotionally brutalized her.
Now on to now. First off, stop talking about it when you're drinking. Why are you bringing up this experience and making her re-live it? Seriously WTF are you thinking? If you want to have fantasy talk, when you see some hot black guy at the mall or whatever, point him out and talk about him later. Then you say she watched IR porn with him in it? Huh? He was a porn star?
Ok, here is my advice. Find some place close to your home. Like a park, lake, beach, something. Don't make it a 3 hour drive. Take her there and before you go tell her you want to talk about something with her. Get a pre made picnic lunch, maybe a bottle of good wine. Once there relax, enjoy the moment with your wife. When the time is right, tell her your feelings. And don't get drunk first. Don't put it on her about her being addicted and all that bullshit. Tell her your feelings. Tell her you are aroused by the idea of her being with black men. But only for the sex. Tell her in no way will this be a repeat of last time. No relationship is even possible. That it's only for the sex and nothing else. If that goes well, I highly advise you to find a local swingers club in the area and start attending. This will provide her with a safe environment for her to explore this. Also there will be other more experienced couples around to offer support and advice. If however she says no way. Let it go. Accept her as she is, and her wishes, or move on and find someone else. It's that simple really.
Mojo has a saying. "Part of growing up is experiencing growing up." You did some things when you were young and mistakes were made. Ok, fine. Now it's different.
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Should I be concerned that my wife wants one of these toys. I was all for it but now I'm thinking what's missing. I am oral, patient, and from what she says I satisfy her. What's the deal?
Maybe she wants to experiment with DP. Maybe she wants to use it on herself in front of you. Maybe it's there for her 24/7. The deal is a lot of things, but if I understand your concern you think she is trying to "replace" you. Talk about your concerns. Listen to what she says, and more importantly, what she doesn't, and if it's all cool, don't obsess, enjoy.
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This is a special edition of Ask Slut Emily. Specifically dealing with the emergence of the "cuckold" lifestyle.
Emily,
I'm a normal girl that grew up in a normal town or so I thought. Last year I left for school leaving my friends and family behind. I came home for Summer and honestly wanted to hook up with "Brad" who I saw on and off again all through High School. Brad and I talked a couple times and said that on Sat "Sarah" was having a cuck party i was like cool. I didn't know what that meant. Sarah and I talked later and she said there would be lots of BBC there. I figured it was like some new kind of weed. I was up for it. We got to Sarahs and everything seemed pretty normal. People were just standing around drinking and I was having fun catching up on what had happened while I was away. A few black guys arrived I didn't recognize any of them but nbd. Brad and I went out back and when we came back in one of the black guys was standing in the middle of the living room and Sarah was sucking his cock. Her boyfriend was sitting in a chair watching. WTF!!! Pretty soon more black guys arrived and I knew something was seriouisly wrong. I started hearing the sounds of people fucking coming from the bedroom, most of my friends the girls were like getting felt up or naked or sucking cock. This one naked black guy came over to where Brad and I was sitting and he was like, why don't you suck my cock. I looked over at Brad and he was so pathetic looking at me and said please do it. I was like wtf is going on. So I did for a little bit. He didn't cum or anything then walked away. Brad asked if I wanted to walk around and I agreed. When we got to the bedroom Sarah was like naked with two black guys in her then another put his cock in her mouth. Brad said thats called airtight. Her boyfriend was like just sitting there watching with his cock out. We walked around a little more, most of all my friends were naked hooked up with the black guys while their boyfriends either watched or were standing around talking about cars or some shit. I was like fuck this lets leave. Brad asked if I wanted to go out by the airport and I was like finally I can get laid it had been a while. Instead Brad told me I was the 1, and how much he loved me, and I would be the perfect Slut Wife and I could fuck all the black guys I wanted. I was like WTF is going on here? I asked Brad to take me home. Since then both he and Sarah are calling and txting me about another party. I just want to go back to school and get the hell out of here. I mean I always thought Brad and I might get married but serioiusly WTF is this? I Googled Slut Wife and found this site. Is this what I have to look forward to? I'm seriously fucked up over this Emily.
p.s. When I said to Brad something if their parents knew, he was like a lot of the parents are into it also!!!!!!!!
Freaked out
All my life I have wanted to be faithful to a woman who does not want to be. And with me, she does not have to be. I want to love and support a woman who will enjoy a variety of men in bed. I want to love this woman who loves and achieves orgasm with depth duration and dignity. I want to protect her, respect her, adore her, and enable her. But how can I find her?
Thanks
George
I am a male that wants to be a cuck. Advertised on craigslist but all I get is cam girls.
I am 49 GL ital irish also 7 cut.
Do have any advice or sites to help me find my slutwife?
Dave
Wow... First to George and Dave, have you joined Slut Wife Finder? Then I was going to say Craigslist. I honestly don't have an answer for you. This is new uncharted territory and everybody seems to be making it up as they go along. There are some basics I've learned over the years doing this column though. First be honest. Be very up front about what you're looking for. Go to bars/restaurants that are known "cougar" hangouts. Also try swing clubs or events. Most don't let in single guys but try to find someone to go with. But above all be honest. Yes, you're going to scare off some or most woman you approach. Then again it only takes one. Remember that. Maybe get some Slut Wife Wear "cuck" jewelry. Get them to ask about it. Don't, like I always see here find some "nice" girl then go about turning her into a slut. That rarely works.
Now on to Freaked out. I can imagine. But as you can see from the above, it is happening more and more. I first heard of parties like you describe with people of your age range about a year and a half ago. I've asked around and yes they are taking place, even down to the junior high level. People with horse drawn carriages were probably freaked out when automobiles came along. Life is about change. Is it all that's out there? No, but you're probably going to run into it more and more. If you decide to experiment in this and you don't like it, I would however keep it to myself with any new boys in your life, since mentioning it might either end the relationship or cause a replay.
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More Emily...
DISCLAIMER:
Slut Emily's advice is provided for entertainment purposes
only. Never should you take the advice of anyone other than
a trained
professional in dealing with complex psychological issues.
Slut Emily's opinion is just that, her opinion
That's
it, later gators.
